By Trisha Fuller
Have you ever thought about what a word means to you? Have you considered what picture a word creates in your mind? Word connotation plays a huge role in internal dialogue and communication with others.
Some words create a picture of struggle or strife, and other words make you feel worse than you need to.
To begin, ask yourself,
“How do I want this to go?”
“What do I want to feel?” or
“How do I want to take action?”
If what you think or say creates an image in your mind that is the opposite of the results you desire, then you need to flip the word and choose a word that creates a better picture and an improved feeling.
Here are three words that most people enjoy eliminating from their vocabulary.
Hard
Think of the word Hard – For many people, when someone tells them something will be “HARD,” they tend to give up before they have even started.
What if you never said the word “hard” again? What word could empower you, even if the task is “hard”?
Most clients will choose the word challenge instead. I even had one client who stated, “If someone tells me, I challenge you to do this,” she stated she can’t help herself; she has to do it to prove she can.”
Pain
Many people struggle with Pain – there is no positive connotation to the word pain. In class, we did an experiment where students said the word PAIN 10 times in a row. Afterward, I asked them how their bodies felt. Most students stated they now feel pain in areas they hadn’t noticed before saying the word. The word pain brings the mind’s attention to it, and it begins to search for it; the result is that the mind intensifies it.
When helping clients with Chronic Pain, we can use a word substitution to decrease the potency of the pain. Instead of pain, you say discomfort. The root word is COMFORT; the brain hears comfort and can feel more comfortable as the word tells us what you want to feel. The “dis” does not register in the mind as it does not make a picture. It’s just a simple word substitution, and many clients say that by changing that word, they take less pain medication.
Stress
Even the thought of this word causes stress! You can ask yourself, what do I want to be? The response that most people give is CALM. For instance, you could say, “I am less calm than I’d like to be.” Or “I’ll be calmer once I get a breath of air.” Both are honest about the current situation but also give direction to the brain on how to move to a more useful state of mind.
Many clients also seem keen to substitute an alternate word for the words bad, anxious, angry, and hate. When they do so, they benefit. They are now controlling their emotions instead of having their emotions control them.
What words elicit negative emotions for you? What words are more honest about what you are experiencing yet more useful to your nervous system?
Experiment and discover creative word options that inspire you and others!
Change How You Use the Word “YOU”!
Using the word “YOU” can be incredibly important and potent.
Communication, in all its forms, is a direct and indirect suggestion. It takes an expert communicator to realize that what they say directly influences others in powerful ways.
Many books and speakers use the word “YOU” in harmful ways, and they don’t even realize it. People accidentally become attached to a negative outcome when the word “YOU” is attached. They now own the problem as if it were theirs due to the word “YOU.”
This is referred to as the nocebo effect, which is the opposite of the placebo effect. The nocebo effect can occur when people read about the negative effects of a medication, listen repetitively to negative suggestions, or hear stories or speeches about negative events.
There is an easy fix to the nocebo effect. Simply changing the phrase to “some people may experience” rather than the word “you.” By using the phrase “some people,” the subconscious mind does not attach to the story or suggestion. People can take in the potential risks with less likelihood of attachment to the suggestion.
This becomes incredibly important to those who assume a natural position of authority, such as teachers, nurses, healthcare providers, speakers, and employers.
Just remember that if the story or information contains negative effects or results, use the phrase “some people.” But if the story’s result is positive or happy, use the phrase “YOU.” Imply positive results or change instead of negative suggestions.
With this small shift in language, people become more comfortable listening to you and following your guidance or instructions.
In short: Change words to have better connotations or meanings. Make sure the use of the word “YOU” is associated with a useful or positive outcome. Read No Starting Over here.
